Monday, February 6, 2012

You're Not Alone - Part 9

Because we haven't had one of these in awhile ... and because I'm  too busy this morning to write a longer post...

Here are search terms that have been bringing people to this blog for the past few weeks:

graduate school good reason for leaving
should i drop out of grad school?
feel like a failure doing phd
grad school lonely miserable
how to tell people you are leaving grad school
i can't handle grad school anymore
i am miserable in graduate school
grad school depression
i hate grad school
i hate my phd topic
phd feel miserable
i hate myself and the academic job market
academia is pointless

Remember, everybody ... you're not alone in feeling this way. Just because no one around you openly talks about it does not mean you're the only one who hates what you're doing or wants to leave. And there's no shame in admitting it to yourself ... even if you aren't ready to admit it to everyone yet.

You're not alone in this.


I was cleaning out my Grad U email inbox last night - trying to make sure there's nothing I want to save before they erase me (and my archived folders) from their system.

In the process of doing this, I ran across an old email I'd sent a friend when I first decided to leave academia. In that email, I was talking about all of the reasons I wanted to leave.

In the top 5? "I hate writing. Hate hate hate it. Academia has made me HATE writing ... something I always loved doing. I don't think I'll ever be able to sit down and just write again."

As evidenced by this blog, it doesn't appear that I really "hate writing" after all. What a relief!! Academia hasn't stolen that from me, at least! :)


Job search update:

I put my resume up on a resume posting site that's run by the state my partner and I want to move to. I haven't bothered with or CareerBuilder or those other similar sites - I'm wary of the types of "employers" that search for resumes on those sites, for some reason. Maybe I'll change my mind in the future. I'm new to this nonacademic job search, after all.

But I figured that the state-sanctioned job bank site wouldn't be a bad place to post my resume. So I put it up Wednesday. And lo and behold, I got a call from an employer Friday afternoon!

However, when I called them back this morning, it turns out they were looking for someone to work part-time, with the "possibility of full-time." And it was a non-supervisory position at a tiny little company, while I'm looking for a supervisory position (or at least a non-supervisory position at a large company that would provde some room for advancement).

And needless to say, I won't be uprooting my life and leaving my good job here in Grad City in order to take a part-time position with no benefits in another state. Um, no.

So ... on one hand, my first interaction with the job bank wasn't a great one. But on the other hand, at least this gives me hope that someone's looking at those resumes, so it wasn't a total waste. At this point, I feel like all I can do is look into every possible option and get my resume sent out as widely as possible.

And to keep reminding myself that I'm immensely lucky. Because I don't have to panic, and I don't have to take any job or interview that's offered to me. Despite the stress and the worry, I'm in charge here. I have my "next job," so I don't have to be desperate when looking for something new. This is a tremendous relief.

So once again ... if you're thinking about leaving? Just try to think in terms of your "next job." Your mind will probably be reeling and you'll probably be uncertain about what to do next or how to go about finding a nonacademic career. Just find something that will allow you to breathe and relax a little bit ... and that will give you the freedom to consider ads or offers for positions you realize that you don't want and to say " know what? Thanks, but no thanks."

The freedom to have some control over this process feels really nice. And it's only thanks to this silly little "next job" that I have it.

I've got a few posts in the pipeline, so I'll write more later this week. In particular, I have a postacademic success story to share with you! In the meantime, have a great week!

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