Article on Quitting Academia

Hey everyone,

As I said in one of my more recent updates, I'm basically absent from the whole postacademic/alt-academic world these days, mostly by choice. I see an article about academic politics or the job market or whatever, and I'm like ..... meh, do I really want to get more depressed today? Nah, I don't think so.

But I promised a few months back to bring you links to anything that I read on academic or postacademia that I find to be particularly good. And I think this piece at Vox definitely applies.

There are about a million parts of this piece that I want to highlight and would love to discuss - if I didn't have a pesky day job that I have to attend to right now - but in particular, this passage spoke to me, and I believe it will be useful for readers of this blog:

The concept [of alt-academia]  is good enough in theory, but in practice it's just another way of phrasing the problem: There's not enough room in academia. Go find a job in a different field.

Some blame scholars themselves for the problem — claiming that today's PhD holders aren't as capable or as qualified as generations past. But after sitting on hiring committees and reading hundreds of CVs and writing samples, I refuse to blame the earnest applicants whose sole crime was being told scholarship was a worthwhile pursuit and believing it. If anything, market pressures have resulted in the production of some of the finest scholarship in generations, with even many adjuncts having a handful of great publications under their belts. The problem is that the system is more than happy to take their money and use their services from undergrad all the way to their doctoral graduation, but when it comes time to pay it off with a real job? Sorry — best look somewhere "alternative."

 There's a lot of good stuff in this piece about student engagement, tenure, how the promise of grad school and academia relates to the reality, and quite a few other things.

Read it, enjoy, and feel less alone!

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Side note: For those who regularly look(ed) at our website How to Leave Academia, we are aware that the site is having massive problems and is currently unavailable when you try to navigate to it. We've been trying to figure out what's wrong - though, of course, our attempts to fix the problem are hampered by the fact that even WE cannot access the site to even poke around behind the scenes to see what's happening.

And, you know, all of us have day jobs and real life to attend to, so trying to get the site back up and running definitely has fallen fairly low on our priority lists in recent months.

But we are aware of the problem, we are trying to see if we can figure out what's happening, and hopefully we can figure it out one of these days! In the meantime, you can always find us and reach us via our personal blogs.

Why I Won't "Just Shut Up"

So I've been thinking quite a bit about the whole U of M/postac kerfuffle over the past few weeks, and have been following the continuing debate over it (this reaction was particularly great) as well as the conversation surrounding Rebecca Schuman's new article in the Chronicle (behind the paywall, unfortunately) - which includes, incredibly, a full professor at an R1 university trying to invalidate her argument because she made a snarky comment about a few pioneering theorists. Sigh.

Anyway, I wrote my last post because I wanted to defend myself against the (untrue) assertion that I think grad students are all privileged jerks who can't get real jobs. As I wrote two weeks ago - that is not, never has been, and never will be true of my thoughts on privilege in academia.

But now that I've gotten that out of my system and have been following the ongoing postacademic debates, I've been thinking more and more about the silencing attempts I've been witnessing. First, of course, we have Amy Pistone telling all of us to shut up on an official graduate school website. Then, we see professors trying to deride and belittle critics like Schuman in the pages of a major magazine/website. And so on and so on. The critiques of postacademia, then, seem to amount to "shut up and stop talking!"

(I mean, unless I'm way off base, I haven't seen any other critiques of our work out there. No one can refute the horrific job outlook for many disciplines, nor can they argue with the fact that some people don't like certain types of work (even academic work) ... so all they're left with is "Well, I love my work, so you just shut up and stop talking and everything will be fine for everyone!!")

The more I've thought about the people who are saying those things to Schuman and William Pannapacker and the other critics of Ph.D. education, the angrier I've gotten. And now I feel compelled to write about why I haven't stopped updating this blog even though I'm officially out of academia, and why I'm not going to shut up and stop talking anytime soon.

A New(ish) Blog and a Few Other Things

Today, I'd like to introduce everyone to The Anti-Academic, who has been blogging for several months now (although it took me this long to catch on and actually link to hir blog, duhhh...).

Anti-Academic is a professor in the UK, and is currently planning hir escape from academia after slowly coming to realize that zie no longer enjoyed the work and simply needed something different. Zie details that in this post, which I thought was especially insightful. In particular, the section about growing exhausted with the lack of variety in academic jobs really caused a lightbulb to go off inside my head.

Because I've written, many times, about how I grew over time to hate academia as a profession, but I've never really been able to articulate why that was the case. And when I think about it in more detail, it doesn't really make sense. Sure, I hated doing research. But I loved teaching. And yet I don't regret leaving at all? How does that make any sense??

Well, I think Anti-Academic has hit on one reason that I don't miss it that I hadn't considered before - the lack of variety in an academic life. I enjoyed certain aspects of the job, but by the time I left I was bored and unenthused ... and didn't see either of those things changing as my career would progress. How could it, if I'd forever be doing the same things that bored me to tears in 2010?

Now, you might be thinking that I'm crazy. After all, academics work on different projects with different colleagues and teach different classes every single year! That's variety!

That's very true. You do have some variety in your day-to-day work as an academic. But the overall tasks are just about the same - month after month and year after year. Whether you teach an introductory class on Tuesday mornings in the fall semester or a seminar class on Wednesday nights in the spring semester, you still have to write a syllabus and exams and prep class activities. Whether you're writing a presentation about medieval basketweaving for a departmental seminar or about Victorian literature for an international conference, you're still just writing a presentation ... probably in the same format you've used for 50 other presentations. And whether you're working at a tiny school or a huge one, in the U.S. or in Europe? You're still working with the same kind of people (academics) doing the same activities (research and teaching).

On a day-to-day basis, then, the work can have some variety. But in the long-term? Not so much.

Odds and Ends ... and You're Still Not Alone

A few random thoughts for today......

First, let's take a look at the google searches that have been bringing folks to this place over the past couple of weeks. I'll be honest - this group of them have been more striking than usual. I was expecting the people showing up here over the summer to be less stressed out and negative about academia, and more relaxed. After all, it's the summer! That doesn't seem to be the case, unfortunately:

-i am miserable in grad school
-i want to drop out of grad school
-academia overwhelmed workload
-feeling angry for no reason grad school
-i hate being a researcher
-what to do if you hate your grad school program
-am i weak for quitting phd
-academic job market stinks
-my phd research is worthless
-i feel like my research is shit phd

It's also worth noting that the two posts at this blog that have gotten the most pageviews since I started - and continue to get fresh new pages views every single day - are the ones in which I wrote about how I hated my research and about how grad school messes with your mental health. And when I say that they get more page views, I mean that they each have more than five times as many page views as any other post on this blog.

I'm Still Here! And You're Still Not Alone! (Part 10)

Just a quick post today to let everyone know that yes, I'm still here!

We've been unbelievably swamped at work, and unfortunately this past weekend I had to go out of town yet again for another funeral. This one was for a family member who'd been very old and very sick for a long time, so it was one of those funerals that was both sad and happy at once - since we were sad to lose him but it was also a blessing that he was finally at peace.

Anyway, between traveling and scrambling to catch up at work, I haven't had much time to think up new posts ... much less write them. Things should be back to normal next week, I hope.

But in the meantime, since finals are coming up at most schools and I'm sure there are a lot of you out there who are feeling overwhelmed/desperate at this time of year? I thought I'd post a list of the search terms bringing people to the blog in the past couple of weeks.

Once again, I give you a reminder that you're not alone if you're growing to dislike academia or if you no longer think the industry will allow you to live the kind of adult life that you want because of the scarcity of jobs or the adjunct career path that most of us get sent down. You're not alone, and you can find happiness outside of academia if you want.

Search terms bringing people to the blog this week:

Career Counseling Update - and You're Not Alone (#10)

So, I had my career counseling appointment at Grad U this week. I have a couple of other half-written posts in the pipeline, but first I thought I'd do a quick post recapping that visit, since I seem to be in one of my Writer's Block Periods this week. I blame the beautiful weather.

Overall, I was happy that I went to see the counselor. I wrote last week about how I've been dealing with some job-hunting inertia in the last few months, and I'm hopeful that this meeting will help me break out of that funk a little bit.

Part of what was hanging me up was the fact that it's difficult to voluntarily apply for new jobs when you (1) like your current job and (2) have absolutely no idea of where you want to go in the long term, career-wise. Part of me understood that I really needed to spend some time figuring out what career I wanted to aim for in the long term before I would really be excited to apply for jobs ... but part of me was chastising myself for not applying for jobs 24/7.

It's that damn academic mind again - popping in to tell me that every moment spent researching careers was a wasted moment that I could have used to apply for jobs. It's time to get moving!! Work work work!!! Any free time is time you should spend getting things done!!

But all of the mental chastising from my crazy academic brain wasn't making me apply any faster. Deep down, I knew that I had to give myself some time to research careers, but I needed an outside voice to tell me that I wasn't a slacker if I spent a little bit of time doing that. And thankfully, the career counselor agreed with me. She pointed out that since I wasn't desperate to find *any* job (since I have one now), it made little sense to be applying left and right with no idea of where I'm going in the long run. Even if I know that my "next job" will likely be related to what I'm doing now, it makes sense to try to decide what "forever job" I'm working toward in the long run. In other words, it's not irresponsible to think and do research rather than just forging ahead on some poorly-thought-out career path. After all, that's what got me in trouble in grad school!

New Postacademic (or Near-Postacademic) Blogs

Hey all,

I'm still here, but have had a bit of writer's block this week. I'm sure that'll change immediately, and I'll write something like six long posts in the next five days. That's just how I roll. :)

But in the meantime, I wanted to point out two new blogs I ran across this morning. Your Barista Has a Ph.D. is written by a humanities Ph.D. who is pursuing alternate routes after two unsuccessful trips on the job market. S/he is a parent, so some of you who are concerned about how to balance family and academia/postacademia might find some useful information over there that you can't get from childfree me. In particular, I appreciate hir thoughts about the impossibility of chasing adjunct/VAP work around the country when you have kids in tow. Zie also has some good advice for keeping yourself sane while first deciding to leave (hint: stay off the academic jobs wiki!!!).

The second blog is Pre-Post-Academia. This blogger is also a humanities Ph.D. who is taking some smart first steps toward a nonacademic career and trying to decide whether to finish her dissertation. She also has some really interesting ideas about how people who were the "smart" kids in school (probably a decent percentage of us who pursue Ph.D.s) experience academia and the process of career changing.

So go forth and read and comment at these new blogs ... and once again, see that you aren't alone.


I'll be back with more posts later this week. Happy Sunday!

You're Not Alone - Part 9

Because we haven't had one of these in awhile ... and because I'm  too busy this morning to write a longer post...

Here are search terms that have been bringing people to this blog for the past few weeks:

graduate school good reason for leaving
should i drop out of grad school?
feel like a failure doing phd
grad school lonely miserable
how to tell people you are leaving grad school
i can't handle grad school anymore
i am miserable in graduate school
grad school depression
i hate grad school
i hate my phd topic
phd feel miserable
i hate myself and the academic job market
academia is pointless

Remember, everybody ... you're not alone in feeling this way. Just because no one around you openly talks about it does not mean you're the only one who hates what you're doing or wants to leave. And there's no shame in admitting it to yourself ... even if you aren't ready to admit it to everyone yet.

You're not alone in this.

Happy New Year!

I just wanted to put up a quick post wishing all of my readers and fellow postacademic bloggers a Happy New Year.

2011 has been a surprising year of ups and downs for me. I started out the year anticipating several interviews for academic jobs, with all of its attendant stress and worry. Within 2.5 months, I'd been on three academic job interviews and had resoundingly decided that this life wasn't for me anymore. What has followed has been 9.5 months of the most intense soul-searching I've ever had to do in my entire life.

I started this blog in March, hoping that it might give me some clarity on leaving ... and thinking that one or two other people might find it out here in the blogsophere and find something I wrote helpful. To my great surprise, many people have found it, and lots of you have told me that it's been a tremendous comfort for you.

I'm grateful that I could provide this space for other people to read and comment and know they aren't alone. Writing has been immensely therapeutic for me, and I'm glad to be one of the people out here (along with my fellow bloggers to the right) who are getting the word out about people who - gasp! - don't enjoy academia or simply want to pursue a career with better prospects. As I keep telling you, you're not alone.

But I'd also like to say that for as many of you who've said that this blog has given you comfort? Well ... all of your comments and pageviews and emails have comforted me as well. As certain as I was that I wanted to leave, it it always nice to know that you're not crazy or making a terrible mistake when you're making a big life change. And all of your pageviews and comments and everything like that have reminded me on a daily basis that I'm not crazy for seeing flaws in academia, I'm not stupid for not wanting to chase the academic job market, and - at the end of the day - that I'm not alone in wanting something else for my life.

So on this New Year's Eve, I wanted to put up a post thanking all of you for reading here and leaving comments. My intention is to keep this blog up and running until I find my "next job" outside of academia. Posting may be a bit lighter in the next few months, since I'll be spending time job searching. But I'll keep putting up new content at least until I find a job, so it has a clear beginning and end point. (And of course, if I feel motivated to keep writing after that, I will).

But one thing I'll do - as long as Google allows it - is to keep the archives published and always keep the email address associated with this blog active (and set to forward to my primary email so that I don't miss anything). So if you are finding this years after it's been written, don't hesitate to comment or email. The chances are pretty good that I'll respond.

And in the meantime, as of December 31, 2011? Thank you all for reading and commenting. I would also like to remind you that tomorrow begins a brand new year ... a great time for new beginnings and New Year's Resolutions. If you're thinking that it really is time to leave academia, perhaps tomorrow is the day to start.

Happy New Year!!

You're Not Alone - Part 8

Search terms bringing people to this blog in recent weeks:

-how to leave academia
-i hate grad school
-reasons to leave grad school
-graduate school and i hate it
-i want to leave academia
-I hate grad students
-feel like a loser in grad school
-grad school has made me hate academia

...and my favorite:
-are postacademics happy?

Yep! Or at least I am. I may not be pursuing a Ph.D.-level job anymore or doing academic research. I may just be working in an office and may be looking for a job where I'll have a boss and defined work hours.  I may be giving up my summers off and a little bit of flexibility in my schedule. I may not wind up doing something that inspires an awed reaction like "college professor" does (in certain circles, anyway).

But I'm happy. And to me, that's what counts.

To the rest of you: you're not alone. I doubt the same person has been running all of those searches, so there's at least a few of you out there. Remember: just because no one talks about being unhappy doesn't mean they aren't. You are not alone.

You're Not Alone - Part 7 (...plus some extra commentary)

This week's search terms that have brought (presumably) new visitors to this blog:

-disillusioned with academia
-i am not enjoying grad school at all

-hate grad school

-i can't handle grad school anymore

-i don't think i can survive grad school

-so depressed in grad school

Anyone who's ever run (or thought about running) a search like this ... you aren't alone. There are many more of you out here, trust me. You're not the first person to feel this way. Hell, you're not even the first person to feel this way this morning.

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I thought that some of my readers might be interested in a comment left by reader "noelynoely" on an old post. I wanted to bring it up to the front page today because it's buried pretty far in the archives, but I think more people than me could benefit from reading it. Noelynoely provides further evidence that you're not alone - that there are other people out there who didn't like the academic life. And more importantly, s/he provides evidence that there is life and fulfilling work outside of grad school, even if you can't see a clear path forward at this very moment.

You're Not Alone - Part 6

Apologies for being MIA this past week. I've been trying to post at least once per week, but couldn't come up with anything particularly insightful over the last few days. I've got a few posts in the pipeline, though, so I'll put up a couple of things over the next few days.

Despite me not having posted much in the last couple of weeks, new visits to this blog have spiked in recent days - probably not coincidentally due to the fact that we're in the first few months of the new academic semester. There seem to be some new grad students out there who are realizing that the whole academia thing might not be a good fit for them, as well as returning academics who are wondering why they even came back.

So since I haven't done one of these in awhile, here is a selection of search terms that have been bringing people to this blog via Google. Again - I can't see any identifying information about these searchers, so there's no reason to feel embarrassed if you see one of your searches represented here.

But I always pay attention to the search term portion of my blog statistics, because I think that it reveals a lot about how many people out there are toiling way in academic positions, being unhappy and second-guessing their choices without apparently knowing where to go for help or advice.

I remember very clearly that while I was having doubts about grad school, I felt completely alone. I felt like I was the only person who saw the unethical and illogical and flat-out unfair aspects of academia, and like I was the only person who was genuinely unhappy. Sure, we all joked about how "all grad students are miserable" and about how everyone was in therapy and on psych meds. But still, everyone always talked about how academia was "the best job in the world." I always felt like I couldn't say anything to anyone about the doubts I was having because, obviously, I was the only person having those thoughts. Perhaps you are thinking that now, reading this.

Well, trust me ... you're not. This week's search terms bringing people to my blog:
-i hate academia (3 searches)
-i hate my research
-hate phd research work
-how to leave academia
-i want to leave grad school
-hopeless situation grad school
-hate graduate school
-i don't like my graduate advisor
-anxiety depression since grad school
-depression grad school science
-academics are snobs

You're not alone, and you don't have to stay in academia just because that's where you started out.

Good Luck!

Today is the first day of classes at Grad U for the fall semester. I assume that for many of you who are reading here who are still in academia, this week (or perhaps next) is the start of your semester as well.

I just wanted to put up a quick post today wishing you all good luck with the start of the new semester ... as well as to remind you that if you continue being unhappy or dissatisfied with your academic life as the semester goes on, you are not alone. In the last 24 hours alone, several people have found this blog through searches for "I'm unhappy in graduate school," "hate grad school," and "tired of grad school want to leave."

If everyone around you seems bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but you can't muster up similar enthusiasm, it's okay. You're not the only one feeling this way, even if no one around you is admitting to it.

Just get through each day, and keep in mind that you have options. You can choose to leave if you want. Academia is a job ... nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't own you, and the fact that you started down this path doesn't mean that you can't change courses and careers if you want to or need to.

I'm not the least bit upset that I'm not teaching or going to research meetings this week. My current job may not be groundbreakingly interesting, but I'm honestly just thrilled that today is just another average work day for me ... and that after 5pm, my evenings are free for me to do whatever I choose with.

There will always be opportunities to teach a class or to do some independent research if I so choose. But being outside of the academic machine feels great. If you feel like you need to leave, get the process started.

And it seems like as good of a time as any to mention that if you're a grad student who is feeling really hopeless and desperate, or who is having thoughts of suicide ... there is a dedicated hotline out there for graduate students who need help. Call 1-800-GRADHLP anytime to speak to someone who understands what you're going through and wants to help.

Good luck with the new semester!

You're Not Alone - Part 5

I haven't done one of these in awhile, so here you go...recent search terms that people are using to find this blog.

Hopefully no one reading here feels odd if they see these posts and recognize a phrase they've searched for. I don't see any identifying information about who's running the searches, so don't worry ... and plus, I've definitely run similar searches over the years. :)

But I think it's important for people reading here or arriving at this blog after one of these searches to understand that they aren't alone. I'm here, the folks blogging at the links on the left are here, and all of these people who run these searches to arrive at my blog are having the same thoughts about academia and grad school. Just because you don't hear people saying it in the grad labs or hallways or even over the weekends at parties or bars or the departmental potluck does not mean you are the only person having doubts.

You're Not Alone - Part 4

This week's search terms bringing people to this blog ... now with commentary!


"guilt about leaving academia"
Why be guilty? Do you think your department feels guilty that you're so miserable that you want to leave? I doubt it. There's nothing to feel guilty about if you are miserable at your job and want to leave. As long as you leave in a respectful way (don't abruptly quit in the middle of a class session, notify your advisors, don't burn down the building on the way out), why should you feel guilty? Your department will go on without you. You can still find ways to teach and do research. Don't feel guilty for making yourself happy.


"about to begin graduate school, depressed about money"
It remains to be seen if you will have enough money to survive on. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to make enough money to survive. Grad school can make that very hard. There's nothing wrong with admitting that, or with doing something to make your financial situation better.


"grad school depression and anxiety"
I recommend that you check out this post. I don't think it's an illusion that a lot of people start to "feel crazy" when they start a grad program. I think graduate school causes mental distress for a lot of people.


"does not having a faculty position make you feel like a loser"
Not at all. :) On the contrary, I feel like I dodged a bullet, because I think I'd be miserable in 99% of faculty jobs. But everyone is different ... so you should carefully consider your options and think about what you want. But don't buy the academic line that a faculty position is the only job worth having. That might be true for some people, but it's certainly not true for everyone.

Presented without commentary:
"hate my dissertation topic want to quit"
"hate my research program and advisor"
"graduate school guilt"

You're not alone.

You're Not Alone - Part 3

The blog has gotten a little spike in traffic lately - apparently, partially from spammers for online graduate schools (talk about missing the mark...), but also from quite a few more google searches than normal.

Here are the search terms bringing people here this week:

-Dissertation hate my topic

-Why am I so miserable in grad school

-Academics are snobs

-Frustrations in grad school

-Leaving academic life

-Happy with leaving graduate school

-Miserable graduate school 

Just your occasional reminder that if you are here reading these posts, you are not alone with what you're feeling. Just because there aren't a ton of people out here talking about this publicly (or in your department) doesn't mean that you're the only one who feels this way.

Have a great day, everyone!

A Few Things...

A few random observations from the past week or so ... I'll post Part 3 of my "concrete advice for navigating this search" later this week:

(1) I have been traveling a lot over the past few weeks, going in and out of town for various weddings, new baby visits, and other family and friend events that I didn't want to miss. I have to say - it's been wonderful. I've reconnected with some old friends and family, and have enjoyed my time away from Grad U and my former colleagues. My family and friends hear about my career transition and start offering up suggestions for jobs or companies I could work for ... rather than offering up their thoughts about what I "should" do or why I should rethink my decision to leave. I have supportive friends in Grad U city - definitely - but the level of support I get among people who knew me before I came to grad school has been wonderful.

It's so nice to be around people who know me as the person I am, and don't place all of their stock in what I do or don't do for a living.

Also? Being able to travel, and to relax with family and friends without work obligations and guilt hanging over my head??? Amazing. My free time is truly mine, and I'm more relaxed and happy as a result. I'm also a better friend and family member, since I can actually spend time with the people I love rather than being there physically but being mentally lost in a fog of the work I "should be" doing.

Change is Hard

You know, I've tried to keep this blog pretty light-hearted and positive, to encourage people nervous about making the leap out of academia that it's doable and is a positive move.

But today's been a rough day, and it occurred to me that I should clarify that this process has not been easy. It's stressful, and anxiety-provoking, and I've had moments of self-doubt and guilt over leaving. There have been tears, and anger, and frustration. If you leave, you'll experience all of these things.

Today, I'm feeling unsure about whether I can correctly choose a new job I'll like (after all, I thought I'd like being an academic), whether I will be able to make enough money at a new job (nevermind that grad school salaries are insanely low), or whether anyone will even hire me for a job outside academia (which is, of course, something that will definitely come true if I don't keep applying for things). It's not been my best day. I'm frustrated, kind of sad and nervous, and feeling semi-paralyzed by doubt.

But I still don't regret deciding to leave. Every single time I contemplate what it would feel like to be still working on my research or prepping a new class or scrambling around looking for funding, I am more and more convinced that I'm making the right decision. I have a "good enough for now" job, and the next step is to find my next "good enough for now" job.

But the important thing is that I'm leaving a job that I hate. Changing jobs and trying something new - or putting yourself out there for others' evaluation - is always scary and difficult. But trying to do something else is always better than continuing along with something that makes you utterly miserable.

That's what I have to keep in mind. And if you're going through this type of situation, this is something you should keep in mind as well. Change is never easy. But sometimes it's necessary.

You're Not Alone - Part 2

More search terms leading people to my blog, from the last week alone:

"I hate academia" (this one is very popular).
how to work in academia without the guilt killing you
"quit graduate school"
"how to get a job outside academia"
"make you leave" academia
grad school guilt
"10 good reasons to leave academia"

I'll keep posting these from time to time, as a reminder of the fact that you are not alone.


Just because no one publicly talks about these doubts or about the negative aspects of academia doesn't mean that you're the only one who notices or feels them.

You're Not Alone

One of my favorite things to look at "behind the scenes" on this blog is the search terms that are bringing people to this blog via Google.

Currently, the top search term is "leaving academia" - not surprising, given the title.

But the next five search terms, in the past month alone?

"i hate academia"
"dealing with bad advisor"
"I hate my research"
"academia isn't for me"
"feeling depressed and isolated in grad school"

If you're reading this and the other blogs out here talking about people who have left academia, you're not alone. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to leave a profession/program that makes you miserable!

I've been a little MIA lately, but I'm working on a couple of longer posts and will put a few up this weekend. I will say that I spent the evening having dinner with a friend last night, and woke up early today to go to the farmers' market and to go for a run. Now I'm going through job listings to send out a couple of resumes.

I will say that it has been glorious to have normal weekends again, without the pressure of work hanging over my head. I'm still going to work and running errands and doing the things I have to do around the house and to find a new job ... but the academic guilt is missing. It feels amazing.